110: Recap (XI)
Reflections on growth and "scale".
![110: Recap (XI)](/content/images/size/w1460/2022/03/ep110_titlecard.jpg)
In business school, you learn to show only charts that go up and to the right.
Growth is a sign of traction.
Progress. Momentum.
Product-market fit.
Recently, I noticed the Fire Jar email list shrinking.
My analytic-antlers turned up 🦌
![](https://www.thefirejar.com/content/images/2022/03/TFJ-email-subs2.jpg)
A very small decline...
It felt like a direct hit to the ego.
Ouch.
Why does it hurt to go "backwards"?
The lure of external validation
Like many, I struggle with imposter syndrome and decision fatigue.
My reaction to this subscriber growth graph reminded me that I crave external validation. I seek safety and structure in quantifiable metrics.
Arbitrary signposts that whisper :
Good work.
You're on the right track."
Clearly this mindset creates risks.
When a measure becomes the goal, it ceases to be a good measure.
Last year, I wrote :
Each week, ~100 people visit TheFireJar.com.
This number has remained fairly flat over time.
When it comes to publishing on the internet, this scale somehow feels small, embarrassing, and insignificant.
By comparison: If I produced a live weekly show and ~100 friends showed up physically at a theater, I would be ecstatic. 🙌
In-person, this feels like huge support.
On the internet, it feels like a "failure".
100 people feels like a lot, in-person.
But insignificant on the internet.
Why do these frames feel so different?
Can you measure "progress" without metrics?
Update
Thanks for the replies!
![](https://www.thefirejar.com/content/images/2022/03/ep111_titlecard.jpg)
ICYMI
The last nine :
![](https://www.thefirejar.com/content/images/2021/12/ep101-titlecard2.jpg)
![](https://www.thefirejar.com/content/images/2021/12/ep102_titlecard.jpg)
![](https://www.thefirejar.com/content/images/2021/12/tfj103_titlecard.jpg)
![](https://www.thefirejar.com/content/images/2022/01/ep104-titlecard.jpg)
![](https://www.thefirejar.com/content/images/2022/01/ep105_titlecard.jpg)
![](https://www.thefirejar.com/content/images/2022/02/ep106_title-card.jpg)
![](https://www.thefirejar.com/content/images/2022/02/ep107_titlecard.jpg)
![](https://www.thefirejar.com/content/images/2022/02/ep108_titlecard.jpg)
![](https://www.thefirejar.com/content/images/2022/02/tfj109_titlecard.jpg)
Filed under :
![](https://www.thefirejar.com/content/images/2020/12/Tag-Image--folder-2-6.jpg)